Suspicious Fish

fishI had a dream about parmesan fish
Floating in a tomato red dish
It all seems so very suspish
Someone tell me what this means

They were up above the world so high
Those cheesy fish could really fly
Still, this is no excuse to cry
Perhaps my brain is rebelling

It makes me feel all itchy
And wrong and mean and bitchy
I can be more than just a little witchy
I am not myself at all

I hate it when I get like this
My soul seems to be quite amiss
Perhaps I just need a little kiss
This is really messing with my head

I’m not the angel I was raised to be
And for that I am truly sorry
Someday I hope to be a better me
No, I don’t know what it means

Just let me close my eyes and sleep
Forget this day, forget this dream
Payback I’ve learned can be very steep
I’m just a woman so please forgive me

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Forgotten

Some people make an impression on your heart
Their lips, their hands
Even their boot;
The boot that tracks the mud
and mixes with your blood
And they walk around and drag your essence around
Watered down

And you sort of forget who you are.

One Blue Boot

One blue boot300f17213d7c00b5506df68f1cc7c965
Rests atop the frozen ground
Surrounded by the falling snow
Fated to becoming buried, perchance
And forgotten.

One blue boot
Sits all alone until the morrow
When sunlight will gaze upon it
And create a collage of contrast
In color.

One blue boot
Too big for the foot, torn clumsily
While crawling through freshly-made forts
Tears slip into the snow, concealed
By whiteness.

One blue boot
Exemplifies a father’s love and protection
As he carries his little girl with one boot
Promises are kept, tears are dried and
Love uncloaked.

as the willow waves goodbye

If you don’t move then I won’t,
I’ll hold my breath if you hold on;
This love seems to be leaving,
waving like the leaves on the willow;
Just stay with me and pretend
that the ripened fruit that I held,
that was once so juicy and sweet
is not all rotting in the corner;
I covered it with a lovely rug.
Remember when we pretended back then,
that I was your muse and you adored me?
I think we played it off quite well,
So well that I started to believe it.
That’s what happens to a pisces, perhaps;
Too many dreams and not enough action.
I guess I don’t need to do a thing,
just let go and float away.

Joy

girls-holding-hands-bwYou were the tall oak to my tiny birch,
Strong and confident while I shed my skin,
Sanctity poured from you, your soul a church,
Always one, unafraid to spill our sin;
Fear was a stranger as you blocked the hate,
Stood up with conviction for me always,
While others blocked their eyes, showed their true traits,
I need not glance, for their eyes were stark hallways;
Years later I look to you for wisdom,
We walked different paths but remain as one,
You hold my hand, your words give me freedom!
“Let go; there is no light left in his sun.”
Life gives small mercies, you give so much more,
My friend, I stand, our arms laced evermore.

your heart is sincerely, severely amiss

Uppercut, jab, right hook0black
Let your vitriol fester and cook
Angels and prayers won’t protect me
Even when I’m out of your way
You’ll find anything to ruin my day
You just can’t seem to shut up
You hit me as hard as you did yesterday
With all the vicious things that you say
Running from childhood, I ran right to you
I wonder when it was that you did decide
That I was your little punching bag?

Your heart is sincerely, severely amiss
What tragic turmoil to put up with this
You don’t deserve my tears anymore
Instead I run and hide in a place
Created in my head to be safe
Where your words don’t exist
‘It’s your fault, you’re crazy,’ you bray
‘You can’t keep your emotions at bay;’
I guess it has all been a game to you
But I’m sick of all the excuses and lies
To make everyone think I’m alright

My heart is black and blue
Nobody knows but me and you
Worst kept secret, yet no one defends
Maybe your heart is also bruised
I’ve tried, but I’m neither your savior nor muse
I wonder who’s next in line to punch
If I’m sugar and spice and everything nice
Boy, you’re a tornado and I’ve paid the price
What we built up has blown down and disintegrated
I’ve survived, time is up, I no longer care
Let these words dissolve into the stormy air.

girl

girl
say a prayer for this girl
no time to cry, dressed in pearls
rest your bones in this case
you deserve to convalesce

a little broken, misunderstood
never could say what you should
you have forgiven, you’re at peace
no more sins to burden your back

regrets, you have a few
but there’s nothing you can do
wave bye-bye, give a kiss
grab a ride on a spaceship

the walls are broken down
and I am a woman now
girl, you were my chrysalis
I had to die to live again